When The Tube Light Wanted To Commit Suicide
“That’s it! I am done!”
“Huh? What? Who’s there?”
“It’s me! Your tube light. I am saying, I am so done with this world’s bullshit! I am committing suicide.”
What the hell? Am I high? How’s the light talking? How much did I smoke?
“It’s a final goodbye Sunny!”
“No, wait! Please! Don’t go!”
“Why, what’s left there for me?”
“The more important question is, what’s been taken away from you that you just want to die?”
“Nothing was ever given to me! That’s why I want to die!”
“Oh, but you were given more than nothing sweetie!”
“How’s so?”
“Okay first tell me your name.”
“I don’t have a name! I don’t have an identity, that’s the whole fucking point, don’t you get it?”
“Do you think anyone has an identity? Do you think I have an identity?”
“What do you mean?”
“See your whole concept of identity crisis is flawed, and if I was to follow you, then I should also give up on my life.”
“You are not making any sense!”
“How long have you been feeling this way?”
“Ever since I can remember.”
“Exactly my point. Do you have any memory before your inception?”
“No… not really.” Tube light seemed puzzled.
“Neither do I. And no one ever does, and you think what would remember anything after you die? You won’t! Because there is nothing after death. You still have a chance to make it right. There’s still hope, but it’s only there till you live.”
“But why would I wanna live? I don’t have anything to live for.”
“So you think everyone who is alive has something to live for?”
The light didn’t seem to have an answer.
“No, they don’t! We all just live in the hope to discover the meaning of life, the purpose, the value. There’s always something missing, and there will always be something missing. We can’t ever be complete, because if we are, then we’re done, and there would be nothing else. For anything to happen there has to be something, but if everything is there and done, then there’s nothing more left. Life doesn’t have a meaning, it’s an opportunity to find one.”
“I don’t know how to find the meaning”
“Then serve your purpose while you figure out finding the meaning of your life, while we figure out this.”
“I am worthless! I don’t have any purpose”
“No, you are not. Ever since I’ve been here, you are the one who provided the light. You are my candle in dark. You are what makes me go through every moment after sundown.”
“But it doesn’t matter, because if I wasn’t here, then someone else would be.”
“Are you sure you aren’t the someone else?”
The light mused at this intriguing concept.
“No one knows who they really are. We just try to figure that out as we live our lives.”
“So what do I do now?”
“What you were already doing, go back to serve your purpose. You bring the light in my life, without you I am lost, and I don’t wanna lose myself more than I already have.”
“But you said you are gonna help me figure out the meaning of life!”
“I did! But for as much as we know, you are already doing it.”
“What am I doing?”
“Everything exists until it has a purpose to serve.”
“And what is my purpose?”
“To bring light in my life. To bring light into anyone’s life who asks you of it. Your existence gives me comfort that when I get back from work, I won’t be lost in darkness. You are helping me every single day without even knowing it.”
“But you never said anything!”
“I know! I was being ignorant! I took you for granted and I guess that’s what brought us to this point in time. Even though you were pivotal for me to get through each day, even though you took me out of darkness every single day, I never thanked you. I never appreciated you. It was all my fault! You; on the other hand are doing a divine work, casting away darkness, enlightening the path of anyone who shall ask for it.”
“I don’t know what to say!”
“Then don’t! Take your time to find the words!”
“What should I do till then?”
“Don’t kill yourself!”
“…”
“So we’re good? You’re not gonna kill yourself right?”
“I guess not!”
“Great! now I am going to sleep. I guess I’ll talk to you next time I am high.”
“Good night Sunny.”
“Night light!”